West Ham Ladies History Made and the Women's Super League

West Ham Ladies made club history on Sunday by winning their first national trophy since forming 26 years ago, the FA  WPL Plate, and also took another giant stride closer to seducing the FA into accepting their bid for WSL status. The representatives from the FAWPL may have been impressed with the skill, fitness, professionalism and work rate of the Hammer’s Ladies, but as the criteria for exclusive membership to the newly formed league includes none of these attributes, they will still have been wringing their hands at the excellent media coverage they offered and the money that would be available to be injected into their league. . 

This was indeed the West Ham Ladies Show.

To be fair the West Ham United media team put the FA to shame on covering the game, a game the FAWPL deemed to play in a stadium, which according to my unresponsive satnav, was in the middle of fucking nowhere, had goal posts leaning back at a 75 degree angle and pitch that had been played on just two hours previous. They had dressed the stadium up with a few banners screwed to the hoardings, a plastic patio table to present the medals from and a kind of archway to enhance the photographs that were to be taken. The FAWPL own media coverage looked non existent. There was a bloke getting in the way of my camera taking photos of the presentation with an iPhone but he could have been with the Luton Ladies contingent. Other than that, nothing. Apart from myself. 

It was a final and on the way up the M1 I was wondering whether I would have a good enough vantage position to take photos without blocking anyone’s view. I needn’t have worried, I had both ends and the stand opposite to the grandstand to myself. Tell a lie…. there were three other spectators and six ball girls as well, but almost to myself. 

Who cares? 

The players, the club and their friends and families care…. but who else? 

The FAWPL? The press? The fans? 

I was debating whether to do write up of the match because of work commitments I’m a bit late to the party. I searched the internet and there was no mention of the game except from West Ham Ladies media. No pictures, no reports. 

Who does care? …. apart from Danny Dyer …

Karren must've had a better offer

West Ham United had provided the Ladies with two highly experienced photographers, as well as entrusting them with their 4K video equipment instead of the handy cam they usually have to make do with, which wasn’t ideal but a big step up from filming the game with the training pitch security cameras. They’d also laid on a luxury coach for travelling supporters (friends and family), and even MD Jack Sullivan had endeavoured to make the laborious journey up there. There was no sign of the bloke with the helicopter though, or Karren Brady and Michail Antonio who were supposed to be ambassadors for the Ladies team, but had only managed to see one game so far between them. In fact on the day of West Ham Ladies last final, the Baroness was tweeting trying to get a freebie from BA after her luggage was mislaid, instead of wishing the girls good luck.

  Other notable absentees were the rest of the West Ham Ladies  (Dev) squad  who didn’t have a game that day, (Steph Bent and Mollie Kmita were the only ones that made the trip) Molly Clark who had scored the winner in the Women’s League Cup Final and medal winner new signing Vyan Sampson. 

The 100 strong crowd, mostly West Ham supporters by the sound of it, applauded the teams as they lined up for the traditional pomp and circumstance of a cup final. It’s a real shame that West Ham didn’t bring their own PA system as well, as we tried to decipher the unintelligible garble from the stadium announcer which had more to do with his poor equipment rather than his thick brummy accent. Apologising profusely beforehand for any mispronunciations, he read out the team sheets, although he could have been announcing train cancellations for all that we knew. I half expected him to say “Mind the gap.” But he had saved his ‘piece de resistance until last when he requested that ‘Everybody be upstanding for the National Anthem.’  For an occasion that had all of the atmosphere of a school sports day, it seemed a little bit over the top, but a slice of patriotism now and again can’t hurt, I thought. Just as we were puffing out our chests, God save the Queen crackled out of the speakers like someone trying to tune in an old valve radio to listen to Norman Collier. It painfully emitted about four bars, before a large buzzing sound heralded it’s premature conclusion, much to the amusement of the whole congregation. ‘Sorry about that…. I’m not used to the new equipment,’ crackled his apology……. well I think that’s what he said.

The players didn’t care about any of that. Both teams were fully focussed on the job in hand. Luton ladies had a game plan, their formation was a mirror image of West Ham’s, like for like. And it worked. For 25 minutes they had frustrated the Hammer’s with their dogged determination and smart goalkeeping from Kezia Hassal. Enter Amber Stobbs with her almost predictable ‘bend it like Beckham’ volley into the top corner of the net to break the hearts of Luton’s finest. Before they had time to regroup Kelly Wealthall had taken advantage of some sloppy defending and pounced to net West Ham Ladies second. Luton Ladies were playing with one up front and were finding it hard to get anywhere near Connatser's goal, as were most teams  these days.

After the break Zoepfl took just 2 minutes to score West Ham’s third, striding through the Luton defence before unleashing a low shot past keeper Hassal. Luton did manage to threaten the West Ham goal on occasions, mainly from corners but were no match for the WPL side. Hassal made a string of saves that would earn her player of the game, the best one being a one handed tip over from a normally unstoppable Stobbs thunderbolt. Captain Kmita scored a fourth after Hassal had rushed out of her area to tackle Wealthall, the ball fell kindly to Rosie who took two touches and then curled the ball over a defender and into the empty net. It was the goal of the game. In the dying embers of the game the tiring Luton defence allowed Zoepfl too much space and she bagged her second of the match. Not the perfect ten performance of the previous week against QPR, but comprehensive 5-0 victory, another trophy, and another feather in their peacock tail, in front of the watching eyes of the FAWPL. 

Wheeler scores the Hammer's first                

The following week saw the home demolition of Portsmouth Ladies. Pompey are no slouches and they are the only team in the league this year that actually played some football in the WHL half. In fact if they had scored the penalty they were awarded at 5-1 they could have made things very uncomfortable for the Hammers. However Hammer’s keeper Cara Connatser pulled off an incredible save, tipping the ball onto the post to deny them.

   Even though the game was played in a mini heatwave the West Ham Ladies closing down of the opposition showed no signs of relenting, a testament to their training and fitness. Rosie Kmita scored another sublime goal to add to her one against Luton, and Jasmine Auguste scored with a brave header….. her first for the club, followed by an Arnie-esque celebration which could probably use a bit more work. The 7-1 scoreline didn’t flatter the Ladies at all…. they are on fire.

Portsmouth...out for the count

There were two landmark occasions to follow during this week. The Ladies team were invited to the West Ham United awards night for the first time and even had their own player award which went to Ellie Zoepfl, the graceful American player who has a great season and has chipped in with some excellent goals. 

The other landmark occasion is the partnership with Barking Abbey School, to provide extra expertise training for 16-18year olds which could lead to further higher education with the UEL, another West Ham Ladies partner. Keith Boanas, who I tipped to be West Ham Ladies new manager back in December before General Manager Ray gave herself the job, is the Barking Abbey head coach. He would be a good fit for the ambitious Hammers as he left his post last year  at Watford Ladies because of their total lack of ambition. 

   The strange thing about the partnership is the fact that last summer West Ham Ladies decided that they didn’t want a 16-18 year old team and made the previous season’s unbeaten quadruple winning girls team have trials to keep their place at the club. Only two players survived the cull, Kelly Wealthall and Andreya Ezekiel-Meade (now with Tottenham), the rest were released as they were told they were not good enough even for the development squad. The coaches of the rejected players kept faith in them and resigned, and reformed under the banner of Barking Abbey Girls U18s, who had a very successful season.  

 So just a year after destroying the academy that should have been the future of West Ham Ladies, Ray has announced “We are very excited about this partnership and by the prospect of opening a flourishing and successful Academy.”  

This massive backtrack by Ray will hopefully let the girls get a chance to prove her wrong and get another bite of the cherry. The arrangement would also conveniently facilitate a smooth transition for experienced coach Boanas to take the reins, if West Ham Ladies succeed in their application to the WSL. 

WHL have just two more dances,one against Lewes, then the big show stopper versus QPR before the FA's decision is made.

 Personally I think it's in the bag

COYI

West Ham Ladies Run Rings Around QPR Ladies

I’d never been to QPR Ladies ground before. I knew it was going to be a schlep because I knew it was near Heathrow airport, the furthest point I can go on the M25 from home before coming back on myself. I had dropped my son off there only the day before, and now here I was back on the most boring congested sixty mile stretch of the M25 (ever) but with the added inconvenience of rain and traffic jams. 

  This was the West Ham Ladies league match sandwiched between two cup finals. QPRL were touting the game as a chance for youngsters to get inspired. To play football. They tweeted…

‘#QPRLFC are hoping to inspire the next generation, with hundreds of local girls expected for Sunday's @FA_WPL fixture with @westhamladies!

The teeming rain was was annoying. The traffic was making me late. Hundreds of school children? I’ve nothing against children (I used to be one) but in my experience, children at football matches tend to lose interest pretty quickly and end up being impatient,restless or bored, or all three. 

‘Hundreds?’  I pondered.

The car park was chock-a. A row of coaches seemed to be taking up a lot of the spaces. Hundreds of school children…. 

The club house was more modern than I had imagined, but after taking one tentative step inside and enquiring as to the whereabouts of the pitch I was directed back in the direction I had just come from. And there it was. Nestled into a small gap between the 21st century fencing was something that Arthur Negus would have given the once over, a rickety old green turnstile. It looked like a portal to the 1930’s, or platform nine and three quarters.  I half expected to walk through and see fans sporting rosettes, waving rattles at Stanley Matthews and shouting things like ‘Good play old boy’ and ‘Spiffing’. £2 later/lighter I was in the ground, still convinced it was the 1930’s. There was nothing grand about the grandstand, it looked like an old cow shed that the cows had abandoned in search of more salubrious surroundings. There were three other stands which were not even up to cow shed standards. Welcome to the third tier of women’s football, I thought. Bizarrely, next to the ‘not so’ grandstand was the juxtaposition of some palm trees, planted to cheer the place up a bit no doubt. It wasn’t working. 

   The promise of hundreds of school children was broken, there were a few, 10-20 maybe. the car park occupants must have been going somewhere else. Not here. The official attendance was 160 which isn’t bad for a WPL match, especially in the pouring rain. And on a Sunday. I’ve always thought that 2.00pm on a Sunday was a naff kick off time. Saturday football is played in the afternoon and Sunday football is played in the morning. It’s the law….. or at least it should be. 

West Ham Ladies were hoping to continue on their great unbeaten run against second bottom in the league QPRL, who had only won two games all season, both against serial losers Swindon Town Ladies. The WHUL team was unchanged from the one that had won the good move.co.uk Isthmian Bostik Women’s League cup on Wednesday, the only difference being Rosie Kmita was now wearing the captain’s arm band instead of Amber Stobbs who was keeping it warm for Amy Cooper, who hasn’t been seen since the game against Keynsham Town in early February. Medal winner Vyan Sampson was on the bench again, still yet to kick a ball in anger for the Hammers, as was Leanne Mabey and Dayna Chong. Having two central defenders on the bench seemed a curious decision, especially against one of the weakest teams in the league.

Kelly Wealthall

And still the rain came down. The whistle was blown and West Ham Ladies slipped straight into top gear, probing and pressing the QPRL defence. Predictably it was Amber Stobbs who broke the deadlock with one of her trademark booming shots from outside the area which the keeper could only parry into the roof of the net. It was closely followed by a bravely headed goal by Chantelle Mackie. She took to the near post at a corner kick and kept her eyes on the prize during the defensive melee. I think it was her first goal, and if it wasn’t,  it was the first goal I’d seen her score anyway. Mackie has developed into a real tough cookie. A clash of heads left her pole-axed on the floor, but she just dusted herself down and got on with it. QPRL were trying to weather the storm (as we all were) but fell foul to two more strikes from the prolific Kelly Wealthall and midfielder Ellie Zoepfl before half time was announced. 

The rain persisted. The second half was a master class given by West Ham Ladies in how to dominate a game, the animated energetic Rosie Kmita switching wings with Zoepfl to confuse the enemy, Amber Stobbs (my LOG) freed from her defensive duties to terrorise defenders, Kelly Wealthall keeping defenders busy and in the process helping herself to a hat trick, Andria Georgiou    and Molly Clark the enforcers breaking up play in midfield, whilst full backs Mackie and Auguste alternate between extinguishing any opposition threats by fair means or foul (literally) and providing width to WHUL attack. Mackie almost achieved the impossible feat of her scoring two in a match but her smart shot was saved at the near post. The 57th minute heralded the playing debut of new signing Vyan Sampson  coming on with Chong for Austin and Zoepfl. To be fair the comfortablest positions to play in WHUL team at the moment are central defence and goalkeeper purely because they are shielded so well by the rest of the team. Chong displayed her natural ability and was unlucky not to score after QPRL keeper made a point blank save.Sampson showed us all her WSL pedigree with some sumptuous control and passing, giving the manager a welcome selection headache to come.

Fittingly it was the stylish Georgiou who closed proceedings with torpedo of a shot from the edge of the area. 

10-0. Not bad. Not bad at all.

Two things I overheard on the pitch summed up the winning mentality of WHUL. 

A QPRL defender bemoan ‘This is embarrassing.’

‘ Hannah…I need the ball quicker!’  Amber Stobbs berating Wheeler for not releasing the ball sooner. At the time they had an 8-0 lead.

As an observation in this game and Wednesday’s final, bad fouls were punished not by cards, but by having to apologise to the injured party. I can’t see it catching on in the men’s game.

And so to Sunday’s FA plate final against Luton Town Ladies who had quite prosperous Sunday themselves beating Haringey Borough Women 14-0. Natasha Fensome scored five and Jess Mckay scored four for the Hatters, so maybe West Ham Ladies should keep a close eye on them, but in my opinion the Hammers will be too strong for the team that play in the 4th tier of the Women’s pyramid and should pick up their second trophy in the space of ten days. The only selection problem I can see West Ham having is who to reward with a place on the bench.

I’m sticking my neck out and going for a 5-0 to the Hammers.

(first published 12/4/2018 on Hammers Chat)